Overcoming Shame

Overcoming Shame what does this mean anyway

The dictionary says this: 

  • a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

  • a loss of respect or esteem; dishonor.

  • a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honor.

I have grown up with Shame because of the actions of others. My entire family has Shame in one form or another. This is what experts would call a dysfunctional family.

I see this type of dysfunction in the people I work with. It ends up stunting our emotional and spiritual growth. When we are young we do not understand what is happening or why. When we get older we turn to alcohol or drugs. It leads to promiscuous behavior. All of this leads to feelings of more Shame and Guilt. We feel it must be our fault or something that is bad in us.

Then not being able to handle these feelings we turn to anger and blame to make ourselves feel better. Somewhere along the way Depression sets in and the cycle starts again.

We all feel the urge to condemn ourselves out of guilt, to blame others for our misfortunes and to fantasize about total disaster

Deepak Chopra

The Decision

I could continue to talk about the negative effects. I could talk about horror stories of self destruction. In the end what positive outcome could it produce. Instead lets focus on how we are going to heal. What steps do we need to take so we can have a well balanced life.

Let us understand that whatever we do in life first starts with a choice. You make thousands of choices a day even if you are not aware you are doing it. I know this sounds metaphysical but it is the truth. I know that this is hard to understand but open your minds and your hearts and let the truth set you free. If someone hurt us it was our choice to accept this. If someone physically assaulted us this is tragic. We can not change this fact but if we are to live a valuable life we need to deal with it. 

Overcoming Shame

Lets look at it in a different way. We do not know what may have caused the pain in the ones who have harmed us. Their story may also be tragic. They may have the same pain as you. This does not make it right, although it gives us a starting place to heal. 

 We are not going to heal overnight, overcoming shame and guilt is challenging. Although we could if we knew how to channel our thoughts. So the best place to start is acceptance. Everything starts with this. If we do not accept something then it becomes like a sore that festers and poisons our life's.

If alcohol or drugs are the problem there are organizations to turn to. These groups have been proven helpful to start the healing process. IMPORTANT! We must not stop here, continuing our Spiritual growth is imperative

Relationships are also a good place to start. No one wants not to have loved ones and good friends. This may not always be healthy, we must know when to let go of something that is not healthy for us.

Overcoming Shame and Guilt may be challenging but it worth it. Having a well balanced and Spiritual life is a gift that will be received by YOU and OTHERS for the rest of your life.


"I used to drink," writes John Bradshaw, "to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed."

Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to super achieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures."

John Bradshaw : Healing the shame that binds you.

You are here to create reality, not to continue status quo. You are here to grow in knowledge, philosophy, and then in truth.  You are here to live, and not be afraid of life. You are here to use your brain to create thoughts and to conquer your ignorance.

What happens when a person becomes enlightened? They conquer their ignorance. What does that mean? 

That means they develop their Spirit rather than their altered ego, their personality, their body. And they work everyday in embodiment of that (spirit) energy. They don’t ever really grow old. They have dynamic energy. 

They can create and their level of acceptance is extraordinary.

New age is not new age; it is forever age. What it means is being greater than your body, greater than your prejudice and greater than your lack. – Ramtha

Overcoming shame is just the beginning of the healing process, please do not forget this.

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