Why always me? because you can't run from your past. How many times do we have to make the same bad decisions over and over and end up with the same results.
Having good people in your life to support you is a major plus. That is why 12 step programs exist. If you don't have this now, I suggest this be the first thing you change.
I am a Science of Mind minister and I usually refer to this because this is where my spiritual beliefs started. Ernest Holmes the founder of Science of Mind is one of my mentors.
This next passage has been taken from the Science of Mind text:
"It has truly been said that Mind is a mirror. If we could realize how completely this law works, no doubt we would greatly alter our way of thinking. It is impossible to create even the slightest thought without causing some reflex action in Mind; and the deeper the emotion the deeper will be the penetration of thought and the more complete will be the reaction. Thought is the most subtle of all the forces we know anything about, and few understand what a tremendous power has, either for good or for bad. Learning how to control one's thought means knowing how to control one's body and destiny. "
Effective change is a mind set. Having this skill is something you are going to develop. You will have to start with the way you think about life.
You now process your thoughts and see things in a certain way. This is where you start. Developing new skills will not be easy although it will be worth it.
Just like the passage above stated, You cannot change if you are using the same mind set that got you to where you are now. This is called the great merry go round of life. If you want off, Change your thinking.
HARMONY OF LIFE
You keep the Beautiful and the Pleasant.
My eyes only see that which is beautiful to look at.
I will not see anything else but believe in anything else.
I know that beauty has entered my life, and will always remain there.
I see only the beautiful .